Last week we covered the reasons why we say YES when we want to say NO, some examples include: it's an obligation, feeling we don’t have a choice, and a desire to be liked. The cost of living this way, saying YES, has downsides: being overbooked, late to meetings, late on deliverables, anxiety, and resentment. Trust We say YES to create value for ourselves, but when we can’t follow through it has the opposite effect and it damages relationships and erodes trust. People don’t

For some people the act of saying NO comes easy. For others it is a terribly uncomfortable position that creates such a conundrum, they end up saying YES when they want to say NO. Do you find yourself saying YES when you want to say NO? Did you say YES to: A request for a raise? An ill-timed vacation request? Or say YES to dining at a Chinese restaurant when you wanted Italian? An activity with the in-laws? The examples are endless, so why do we do it? Why We Do It It’s no ri

Assuming you have the agenda sorted out, here's a tip that will improve the outcomes of your meetings while getting the result you want. It involves setting a clear intention for each meeting, and intentions are closely tied to emotions. When you emotionally invest in a goal, the likelihood of achieving it significantly improves. The idea is to complement your proven intellectual abilities by balancing the workload. By incorporating your intuition and feelings to guide you, i

Friendship dynamics evolve significantly from childhood to adulthood. In our school years, friendships seemed to effortlessly form through shared activities on the playground, after school bike rides, or getting into mischief together. It felt almost magical, easy, and effortless, and we didn't fully comprehend how it happened. As adults, particularly men, the quest for that seemingly elusive magic to forge new friendships can be perplexing. Research and anecdotal evidence fr

Letting go. Sounds simple, right? We've seen it on yoga t-shirts or heard a friend say it, "Let go. Surrender." Here's my current perspective on this phenomenon: it's about control and the art of relinquishing it, or at least some of it. Simply saying, "Let go," isn't enough, so let's apply the control test. I'm a fan of simplifying complex ideas into two buckets. Let's break down control. Bucket 1 consists of what you can  control, while Bucket 2 holds what you can’t control

The first time someone said, David, you’re doing the work. I smiled like I knew what they meant, as my mind raced to sort it out. What did it mean, doing the work? Recently, my client Jim shared his initial confusion upon hearing this phrase years ago when he embarked on his coaching journey. Given Jim's disciplined and hardworking nature, being told, "Hey, you're doing the work," initially seemed like a statement of the obvious, something he believed he was already familiar

That cycle is all too familiar, isn't it? It's easy to get hyped about a goal, only to let it fade into the background with phrases like, "I'll start next week" or "I'm not really feeling it right now—I'd rather binge-watch a show." Before you know it, that initial spark of excitement dwindles, and a month later, the goal is hardly on your mind. Just getting started? Then look at The Year Ahead – Planning Guide for 2024. To reignite that initial enthusiasm, it often helps to

Who among us hasn't set goals in January, only to forget or dismiss them by July, and then come November, realize their relevance, only to discard them once more? It might sound pessimistic, but it's a common cycle. Then, witnessing someone else succeed at what they set out to do prompts us to say, "I should do that too! Next year, I'm setting goals." Using last week’s blog let’s build on this theme using the year behind to shape the year ahead. What I've learned explains wh

Building on last week’s topic on celebrating ourselves, we’re ready to take a look back on 2023 with The Year in Review . Let’s rewind the year and hit the replay button. What happened? ·       How did you grow? ·       What changed that you set out to change? ·       Is there a specific achievement you’d like to lay claim to? ·       Was there a miscalibration or a new awareness that led to a change mid-year? ·       If you fell short, share that too and what you learned. I

My Story Remembering to celebrate my accomplishments, big or small, has been my ongoing challenge. It wasn't until my coach and wife consistently nudged me that I realized the transformative power of acknowledging my successes. In my family growing up, celebrations were scarce; achievements were met with a brief acknowledgment and a directive to keep going. Through coaching, I unraveled two reasons behind my reluctance to celebrate. Firstly, I placed immense importance on my

Executive Life Coaching involves uncovering desires across life, work, and home. Often, articulating these desires proves challenging, and my role is to draw out these aspirations, transforming the initial sketches of goals into vibrant, colorful paintings that ignite imagination. A Client Story The CEO advised that a 70% readiness level sufficed for project launch, yet my client habitually aimed for a 90% threshold. Recognizing the CEO's preference for swifter launches, we d

Encountering drama within a friend circle might prompt us to choose between engagement and distance, but when drama finds its way into the workplace, the choices become less clear. How does one address this within a professional setting? Furthermore, what does it reveal about a company or its management when a consistently dramatic employee remains unchecked, drawing attention, creating tension and disruption? Take the Quiz: Navigating Drama in the Workplace Why it cannot b

This quiz accompanies the blog titled: DRAMA - It's Not in the Job Description Article Summary:   Delve into the origins of workplace drama and understand its implications, spanning from its detrimental effect on employee retention to the demoralization of non-drama inclined staff. Learn how coaching equips leaders and managers to drive cultural transformation, specifically when tackling and eradicating workplace drama. Gain insights into the nuanced ways coaching facilitates

Fear emanates from various sources, yielding a limited set of reactions—Fight, Flight, Freeze. These sources span from learned responses, like fearing dogs after a past negative encounter, to emotional wounds halting one's readiness for new relationships. Specific phobias (heights, spiders), social anxiety, PTSD—these represent the diverse spectrum of fear's origins. I’m Scared Fear, both an emotional and physiological response, surfaces in the face of perceived threats, whet

Once again, the trusty personal growth tool is back in focus—Gratitude! While it's timely to engage with gratitude during this season, why not make it a year-round practice? Research consistently shows that it improves outlook, balances negative thoughts, and supports resilience. In my coaching practice, I've seen firsthand the positive impact of embracing gratitude—it truly enhances outlook and brings balance by recognizing what's working well in life. Consider this blog a n

Sure, we all laugh and acknowledge when someone declares, "I’m not perfect!" Yet, in a different breath, many of us chase perfection relentlessly in ourselves or expect it unjustly from others. But here's the truth: striving for perfection goes against our very human nature. So why do we invest so much energy in its pursuit? Read on and take the perfection quiz at the end. Do You... Find yourself delaying tasks? Praise your perfectionism for keeping you sharp? Initiate tasks

The point of these words, fear, anger, shame, joy, and sadness is to represent a range of fundamental emotions we all have. Understanding and acknowledging these emotions is essential for emotional intelligence and personal growth. They must be expressed. Yet, more often than not we tend to elude fear, conceal shame, bury anger, and sidestep sadness. And joy? It’s frequently treated as an elusive jackpot, something we hope to stumble upon rather than actively cultivate. They

In the past, when anger consumed me, it tended to linger for days, as I continually replayed the source of my frustration in my mind. During this process, I would inadvertently become self-righteous. Similarly, when I experienced emotional wounds, I would retreat from the world. Unfortunately, this withdrawal resulted in confusion and pain for those close to me, who were left in the cold embrace of my silence. This pattern of self-righteousness and withdrawal was a recurring

In the company of over 300 people during a storm-induced lockdown, the hurricane exposed unexpected facets of my personality and those around me. We spent 19 hours in a theater with our own pillows and makeshift beds, sometimes beside strangers until the worst of the storm passed. I assumed the “no bother” role, echoing my obedient childhood self. Despite the adventurer in me yearning to experience the fury of the hurricane, with winds approaching 100 mph, we chose safety by

Hiring an associate will rank as the second most critical decision you'll make after launching a new practice. An associate can provide the practice owner with invaluable freedom, ensuring predictable time away and five-day availability to serve referring doctors, including same day emergencies. However, the focus of this article isn't merely on enumerating these benefits. Over the years of collaborating with endodontists, I've observed areas where things can either go smooth