Who among us hasn't set goals in January, only to forget or dismiss them by July, and then come November, realize their relevance, only to discard them once more? It might sound pessimistic, but it's a common cycle. Then, witnessing someone else succeed at what they set out to do prompts us to say, "I should do that too! Next year, I'm setting goals."
Using last week’s blog let’s build on this theme using the year behind to shape the year ahead.
What I've learned explains why goals and resolutions often go unfinished. To succeed, we must be emotionally invested—they must be felt in the body. When you envision holding the goal in your hands, it needs to evoke an 'energizing' feeling for you to fully embrace it.
If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things. – Albert Einstein
Lacking motivation? Perhaps the goal isn't right or lacks specificity. This is an example of a de-energizing response to the wrong goal.
Are these desires for others or yourself? Dive into the reasons behind your wants. Reflect on your passions, values, and long-term aspirations, free from external influences.
Unclear about wants and needs? Emotional-based coaching can help navigate through this roadblock. If you don’t know what you want, then it’s hard to state a goal.
Uncertain about your values? Consider hiring a coach or taking a quiz to assist in articulating and clarifying them. When values and interests (passions) are clear, goals have a much better chance of succeeding. Beyond using a quiz you can use a coach to help you see where your values fit into all aspects of your life and how to harness them.
A goal properly set is halfway reached. – Zig Ziglar
What I’ve Learned – Three Things
Through years of trial and error in setting goals and resolutions for myself and clients, I've discovered three crucial factors that contribute to a successful outcome.
The first is when goals are merely intellectualized, they have a lower chance of materializing. However, when conceptualized and refined on a more visceral, 'feeling' level—embraced as truth within the body—the success rates soared. This approach not only increased the likelihood of achieving the goal, but also fostered a deeper connection and pleasure throughout the pursuit, unlike when purely intellectualized.
The second idea builds upon the first. The key question: Am I fully invested? By momentarily sidelining the mind and asking from a feeling perspective, the answer often becomes clear quickly. There are varying grades of commitment: a.) fully immersed, both feet in. b.) completely disengaged, both feet out. c.) teetering, one foot in and one foot out. If the commitment isn't full—both feet in—it's time to reassess the goal. Look for the missing piece. Revisit and ask: What would transform this into a 'both feet in' scenario?
The third aspect involves the energetics of the goal. Ask yourself: Does this goal evoke energizing or de-energizing feelings? Simply posing the question—Is this energizing or de-energizing? —bypasses the mind and taps directly into the body or heart (often termed intuition). The immediate response provides clarity. If it feels de-energizing, pause and investigate further. Is this truly the right goal? What adjustments could transform it into an energizing pursuit?
If you don’t aim, you can’t shoot. – unknown
Make it Simple
Make it simple so you can relate to it with ease and clarity. If a goal is convoluted or fuzzy around the edges it makes it hard to connect with it. Connect your goals to a purpose—I find mine in aiding people through coaching. The energizing feeling after each call affirms that I'm aligned with my purpose. While I appreciate compensation and material wealth, they don't offer the same invigorating sensation I get after a call.
When I distill everything, my pursuits and goals consistently tie back to my purpose—a wellspring of energy, motivation, and drive. It took years of exploration, accelerated by hiring a coach and attending seminars, to unearth this clarity. Sharing this revelation with clients is my passion—I yearn for them to experience it too.
For me, simplicity lies in this: I want to help more people.
Be Honest with Yourself
If you're not honest with yourself, you might have already sidelined your own efforts before they even begin. Use the "Am I being honest with myself?" question in conjunction with the three key learnings: Am I approaching this intellectually or emotionally? Am I fully committed—both feet in? Does pursuing this goal energize me?
Feeling fatigued from the constant search in personal development, starting many journeys but finishing few? Accelerate your progress with my effective, results-driven systems. Let's connect and schedule a call to explore your possibilities.
Read about Ken’s goal method.
Too busy? What’s under all that busyness? And the way out.
Looking for the next big thing? Try the Imaginarium.