Executive Life Coaching involves uncovering desires across life, work, and home. Often, articulating these desires proves challenging, and my role is to draw out these aspirations, transforming the initial sketches of goals into vibrant, colorful paintings that ignite imagination. A Client Story The CEO advised that a 70% readiness level sufficed for project launch, yet my client habitually aimed for a 90% threshold. Recognizing the CEO's preference for swifter launches, we d

Fear emanates from various sources, yielding a limited set of reactions—Fight, Flight, Freeze. These sources span from learned responses, like fearing dogs after a past negative encounter, to emotional wounds halting one's readiness for new relationships. Specific phobias (heights, spiders), social anxiety, PTSD—these represent the diverse spectrum of fear's origins. I’m Scared Fear, both an emotional and physiological response, surfaces in the face of perceived threats, whet

Once again, the trusty personal growth tool is back in focus—Gratitude! While it's timely to engage with gratitude during this season, why not make it a year-round practice? Research consistently shows that it improves outlook, balances negative thoughts, and supports resilience. In my coaching practice, I've seen firsthand the positive impact of embracing gratitude—it truly enhances outlook and brings balance by recognizing what's working well in life. Consider this blog a n

Sure, we all laugh and acknowledge when someone declares, "I’m not perfect!" Yet, in a different breath, many of us chase perfection relentlessly in ourselves or expect it unjustly from others. But here's the truth: striving for perfection goes against our very human nature. So why do we invest so much energy in its pursuit? Read on and take the perfection quiz at the end. Do You... Find yourself delaying tasks? Praise your perfectionism for keeping you sharp? Initiate tasks

The point of these words, fear, anger, shame, joy, and sadness is to represent a range of fundamental emotions we all have. Understanding and acknowledging these emotions is essential for emotional intelligence and personal growth. They must be expressed. Yet, more often than not we tend to elude fear, conceal shame, bury anger, and sidestep sadness. And joy? It’s frequently treated as an elusive jackpot, something we hope to stumble upon rather than actively cultivate. They

In the past, when anger consumed me, it tended to linger for days, as I continually replayed the source of my frustration in my mind. During this process, I would inadvertently become self-righteous. Similarly, when I experienced emotional wounds, I would retreat from the world. Unfortunately, this withdrawal resulted in confusion and pain for those close to me, who were left in the cold embrace of my silence. This pattern of self-righteousness and withdrawal was a recurring

In the company of over 300 people during a storm-induced lockdown, the hurricane exposed unexpected facets of my personality and those around me. We spent 19 hours in a theater with our own pillows and makeshift beds, sometimes beside strangers until the worst of the storm passed. I assumed the “no bother” role, echoing my obedient childhood self. Despite the adventurer in me yearning to experience the fury of the hurricane, with winds approaching 100 mph, we chose safety by

Advanced self-care prompts us to reflect on what Basic self-care is. Going beyond basic self-care is vital for getting more out of your life. Let’s organize self-care to help you explore ways to incorporate it into your life. Here’s a recap of the basic level before moving into advanced forms: Basic Self-Care Physical Health: This includes sleep, diet, and exercise. These basics can be challenging and neglecting them can lead to burnout or a sense that things aren’t right.

Are you tired of reading yet another article about gratitude and its seemingly endless list of benefits? Trust me; I get it. But today, let's dive into this topic because, well, it genuinely works wonders. When to Reach for Gratitude Picture this: Your mood resembles an airplane's flight path. On regular days, you cruise smoothly at a high altitude. But every so often, you find yourself in a steep descent, unable to regain control. That's when gratitude becomes your trusty fl

In the realm of your personal development path, whether applied to business or home, the choices we make either energize or de-energize us. Energizing paths align with our passions, values, and innate talents, fueling our enthusiasm and motivation. For me, writing these blogs each week is energizing. They propel us towards growth, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose. De-energizing paths drain our vitality and leave us feeling stuck, unfulfilled, and disconnected from our t

Last week we covered the reasons why we say YES when we want to say NO, some examples include: it's an obligation, feeling we don’t have a choice, and a desire to be liked. The cost of living this way, saying YES, has downsides: being overbooked, late to meetings, late on deliverables, anxiety, and resentment. Trust We say YES to create value for ourselves, but when we can’t follow through it has the opposite effect and it damages relationships and erodes trust. People don’t

For some people the act of saying NO comes easy. For others it is a terribly uncomfortable position that creates such a conundrum, they end up saying YES when they want to say NO. Do you find yourself saying YES when you want to say NO ? Did you say YES to: A request for a raise? An ill-timed vacation request? Or say YES to dining at a Chinese restaurant when you wanted Italian? An activity with the in-laws? The examples are endless, so why do we do it? Why We Do It It’s no r

It’s the toughest question in coaching. Why is it so hard to know what we want? Why doesn’t it come easily and naturally? Why is it Such a Hard Question to Answer? Because it is vulnerable. To declare what we want is risky because we might not get it, so better to not try. You asked once before and didn’t get it, so you don’t want to be let down again. For others they don’t feel worthy asking for what they want, their needs come second, and they are good at citing a million r

On a recent client call I was reminded of how we seek refuge from one aspect of our lives or another. Do you seek refuge at work from your home life? Is being at work more preferable than to being at home? Do you seek refuge at home from your work life? Are you disengaged or no longer impassioned at your business/career instead preferring the solace of home? Which do you lean towards and are there areas where you'd like to bring them more into balance?

Years ago I was teaching a personal development seminar and a particular segment struck everyone by surprise - the cost of being right. The key takeaway was when you are right, you make someone wrong. We've all been on one end or another of this stick- being right or being made wrong. Take a moment to reflect on your personal and professional experience of whether you are compelled to be right or the one who was made wrong. Are you the one being right? Then reflect why, what

Imagine traveling for one month without reservations or concrete dates, only with a roughly stated goal starting at mile zero. That’s what I asked from my travel companion, Cynthia, my wife. I wasn’t confident my request would fly, imagining we’d negotiate for something in the middle. To my delight she gave a full-throated YES; just don’t get irritated if we can’t find a place to sleep one night, she said. You the reader probably want to know if we’re still married after 30-d

Going a layer deeper into why we procrastinate breaks off into two significant areas of personal growth: rumination, and negative mindset . Research has shown that procrastination is closely linked to rumination or becoming fixated on negative thoughts . Prior posts on this subject covered many of the common reasons why we procrastinate and the underlying drivers for that behavior. Rumination Rumination involves repetitive and passive thoughts focused on the causes and effe

Building on the prior blog on procrastination we broke apart the various conditions that are associated with why we procrastinate. Research varies, so I will keep it tight based on my work and the work of my clients. This list may be harder to self-identify with since they tend to be under the surface and in the sub-conscious. Various drivers of procrastination: I coach clients out of this energy depleting area of their lives with incremental approaches that get them feeling

I know this one personally and I imagine you do too. I spent years not understanding it and beat myself up for tasks I wasn’t taking care of. I’m a procrastinator . I’ve concluded it is a part of my life, so I’d need to find ways to manage it. It is less intense than it used to be since I know myself better and developed a stronger emotional connection with myself. Breaking apart the various underlying reasons is a helpful starting point and moves us away from heavy, unmotiva

Most of us tap the brakes or come to a complete stop when our anger gets activated. Put another way, we practice anger management . The fundamental point of anger management is to not hurt people and we’re taught to control it. The judgement is: being angry is bad. Played out this way, anger offers little in return only to be socked away in an anger savings account that periodically bursts with rage episodes or flashes of anger we feel shameful about later. Advanced anger man