In coaching, clients often come to me seeking relief from challenges in their personal or professional lives. After a session, they frequently report feeling lighter, as though a weight has been lifted. While this immediate relief is rewarding to witness, I’ve observed a recurring pattern: months later, a similar challenge resurfaces.  This cycle points to a deeper issue—patterns rooted in childhood. To address these recurring struggles, we often need to journey back to where

Here’s a quiz designed to help you identify which childhood strategy (or strategies) resonate most. The quiz uses a point system to encourage self-reflection. You'll find reflection questions at the end. Instructions: Read each statement below and rate how much it applies to you:  1 =  Never true 2 =  Rarely true  3 =  Sometimes true  4 =  Often true 5 =  Always true  At the end, total your score for each strategy and see which one(s) align most closely with your behaviors.  

This is the second article in a series written from both ‘his’ and ‘hers’ perspectives. In the previous post, David shared his insights on embodying the masculine energy in our relationship. You can read his blog here . When I first heard about the importance of balancing masculine and feminine energy in a relationship, I didn’t fully understand it. I assumed that feminine energy meant being soft, passive, or yielding, which didn’t resonate with me. I saw myself as strong, dr

This is the first in a series written from a ‘his’ and ‘hers’ perspective. Next week Cynthia will share her perspective on the feminine. Read her blog here . When Cynthia and I first began learning about masculine and feminine energy, I didn’t think much of it beyond the usual associations. To me, masculine energy was about strength, providing, maybe even protecting. Over time, I realized it was something deeper. Embracing my masculine energy became less about fitting into tr

You've likely encountered the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EI) in business settings or conversations with colleagues. While it may sound straightforward, there's a deeper framework behind it. EI isn't an innate level of intelligence but rather an accessible set of skills that anyone can cultivate. We call it Emotional Fluency  to emphasize its accessibility. Goleman’s Definition Daniel Goleman introduced the concept of Emotional Intelligence in the 1990s, defining it as

This cartoon perfectly captures what it’s like to be a people pleaser. As a former one myself, I know the internal struggle of constantly putting others first. We don’t ask for what we want, then resent the world for not giving it to us. We wear a happy face, regardless of how we really feel, out of fear that showing our true emotions will drive people away. Not just temporarily—there’s a deep fear of being abandoned for good. It’s a powerful but flawed mechanism rooted in th

Broadly speaking this is a state of shutdown and it doesn’t feel very good when it happens. It’s a state where we feel we cannot act on what is in front of us to take action or make a decision. We just want to flop on the couch and not think about anything. There is a myriad of reasons that can contribute to overwhelm. Here are those I see the most in my coaching practice. Take the Overwhelm Quiz . The classic is overcommitment  by taking on too many responsibilities or commi

This blog will guide you through setting up for your best day, beginning with a simple morning meditation that helps you check in with yourself and your current state. The goal is to cultivate more effective, calm, and centered days. Three States Tense Peaceful Excited After I wake up, I enjoy a cup of coffee, splash cold water on my face, and then sit for a 10-minute meditation—before opening my laptop or reaching for my phone. Meditation comes first, grounding my day and

This blog clarifies the distinctions between shame and guilt and highlights how each can be approached for personal growth. Shame and guilt are often used interchangeably, but these two emotions are fundamentally different in how they shape our self-perception, relationships, and personal growth. In personal development, the goal is to transform shame into self-compassion and recognize guilt as a guide for behavioral change. Shame keeps us trapped in a fixed mindset, while gu

The 'blamer' characteristic is challenging because it is so ingrained and second nature that shows up everywhere from private thoughts to public remarks. The good news is it can be softened and reprogrammed. When used in humor it can be extremely funny; however, most of the time it’s not and usually dampens the mood with co-workers, family, and friends. It is de-energizing to spend time around someone with a negative mindset, a 'blamer'. Once a person recognizes they have a n

In last week’s blog, The Cost of Harboring Resentment , we explored the roots of resentment and outlined steps to overcome this debilitating emotion. Resentment not only hinders our ability to lead effectively in business but also prevents us from forming rich, meaningful relationships that bring energy and purpose to our lives. Why We Call It the "Cancer Emotion" Resentment can have a cancerous effect on relationships, especially with family and spouses, slowly eating away a

I often tell my clients how resentment undermines healthy relationships—both with others and with ourselves. I refer to it as the "cancer emotion" because if left to fester, it can silently grow, eroding our well-being. Resentment prevents us from truly connecting with others and building meaningful relationships. It also drains energy. Imagine letting go of your deepest resentments, freeing up that energy to foster rich, rewarding relationships instead. The Roots Resentment

Grief—something we often avoid at all costs. Whether it's the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a career, or a divorce, grief is widely viewed as an unpleasant experience. Like many, I once believed grief was a "one and done" process: to feel deeply sad, and then be free of it. The reality is grief stays with us for life. It’s Always There Grief can sit dormant for years before being triggered by a memory or event, resurfacing unexpectedly. In my coaching practice, I encou

Freedom is the opposite of feeling trapped or controlled. Any number of events, such as circumstances or relationships, can cause us to feel trapped. Freedom is the sense that we always have a choice and are in control of our choices. There are a couple of ways to consider freedom: as a legal right, and the other as our perspective on a situation. Any of the above examples can create stress in our life, and we may react to them in several ways: fatigue, digging our heels in,

In the prior two blogs we discussed establishing your mindset and the 5 Elements of Productivity  as ways to overcome procrastination. Have you ever picked up a self-help book, filled with excitement and motivation, only to find yourself slipping back into old habits a few weeks later? You’re not alone. Many of us have experienced this frustrating cycle, attributing it to a lack of focus, discipline, or self-belief. But what if there’s something deeper at play? Uncovering Un

Last week, I discussed how establishing your mindset enhances the effectiveness of the five steps used to overcome procrastination. These steps can be described as proactive productivity , a mindset and approach that involves taking initiative, staying organized, and completing tasks consistently. Procrastination often involves delaying tasks or decisions that need attention, leading to stress, missed deadlines, and lost momentum. Stress and avoidance can drain our morale, l

This is the first in a 3-Part series on ways to surmount procrastination. Part 2 will expand on the 5 Steps. Part 3 covers when getting in the mindset doesn’t work. Many productivity books and blogs highlight five key steps to overcoming procrastination: planning and prioritization, self-discipline, time management, taking initiative, and consistent action. However, the point of this article is not just to reiterate these steps, but to emphasize the mindset  that makes them

It is easy to label ourselves but how many go a step further to understand that label? Take this quiz to garner valuable insights into why you are perpetually late or to better understand why others are late. The keys revealed here may surprise you. Read more  on lateness in my prior blog. This quiz is designed to help you identify the underlying reasons behind chronic lateness. By understanding your specific challenges, you can take steps to address them and improve your pun

Let’s look at the reasons people are perpetually late to events and appointments. Understanding these underlying reasons for chronic lateness can help in addressing the behavior more effectively, whether through personal strategies or professional support. Take the lateness quiz Chronic lateness can become a deeply ingrained habit. If a person has been late over a long period, it can be challenging to break this pattern without deliberate effort and potentially an interventio

Most self-help and New Age spiritualism books often emphasize the importance of being present. Have you tried this? In my experience, it is extraordinarily difficult to achieve. I spent a week surveying conversations I had with people—over 20 in total—and more than 95% of these discussions fell into two categories: the past and the future. Being present was hard to find. I decided to let go of trying to be present throughout the entire day because it only led to frustration.