Why Wait for a Crisis? Choosing Change Before It Chooses You

David Stamation, Legacy Life Consulting

Too often, people wait until divorce, illness, or loss forces them to change. But crisis doesn’t have to be the teacher. Coming out of my health sabbatical, I’ve realized my mission is simple: to help people choose growth before life leaves them no choice.

The Relationship Between Denial & Change

Denial is the first shield we raise when faced with change. It protects us from uncertainty and loss, but at a steep cost: it delays growth, prolongs suffering, and keeps us stuck in patterns that no longer serve us. Denial dulls awareness.

Change, on the other hand, asks us to feel what denial tries to numb. It requires honesty, humility, and courage. Change jolts awareness.

I’ve seen this in myself, in clients, and in friends: once denial drops, the relief is profound. Energy and freedom replace resistance. Put simply—denial is the pause button; change is the play button.

Do You Notice It?

Humans are experts at waiting. I know I was. I didn’t step onto the path of personal growth until a divorce forced me to face my failures and pain. That crisis cracked me open, and eventually, personal development became my career. But it shouldn’t take catastrophe to begin self-discovery.

The first step is simply noticing. Quietly. Not by making it your story to friends, but by privately naming it: “I’m in denial. I’m going to sit with what I feel.” Stories keep us stuck; stillness moves us forward.

Two Kinds of Change

1. Specific change – You know the issue: anger, people-pleasing, or the belief that you don’t deserve a good life. You’ve sensed it for years, but change feels slippery or impossible to sustain.

   
   

2. Subtle change – A nagging sense that something is off. Life feels unfulfilling, even if nothing looks wrong on the outside. This path often begins with a book, a therapist, or a coach—and once begun, it rarely stops. The insights keep coming, and the journey itself becomes fulfilling.

The Beauty of Not Waiting

Taking action is energizing, especially when it’s fueled by curiosity rather than self-criticism. Try one small act of self-exploration twice a month. Curiosity softens the harsh inner voice and creates space for growth.

Waiting until you’re cornered, by contrast, forces rushed and panicked decisions.

So, if not now, when?

A Firepit Truth

One evening around the firepit with a friend, I didn’t sugarcoat it: ‘I just want people to stop waiting around. Life’s too short to wait for a crisis.’.

Invitation

If you’re ready to move past denial, explore self-discovery, and create change on your own terms, let’s talk. Coaching or life mentoring gives you the safe space and accountability to finally press play. You’re invited to arrange a time to explore if this is for you.