The Art of Patience

The Power of Cultivating Patience in an Impatient World

David Stamation, Executive Life Coach

Have we lost the capacity to be patient?

Netflix isn't loading. Where's the Amazon same-day delivery? How come we haven't been seated or served yet?

Things have sped up and become increasingly efficient, to the delight of most of us, and it has rewired our nervous systems toward speed and near-instant gratification, at the cost of patience. We've seen it in ourselves and our children. We live in an environment and culture that has trained our nervous systems to expect immediacy.

Patience as a Skill

As things speed up, our capacity to be patient declines. There are two places I notice this most: irritation, and a declining ability to enjoy what we've newly acquired.

Irritation shows up small and often: at not being served fast enough at a restaurant, at a video that won't load instantly. The irritated sigh, the pounded keyboard, the audible groan at things not happening quickly enough.

That same impatience shows up somewhere else too, somewhere less obvious. It seems the faster we move through everything, the more our satisfaction plummets, whether it's a meal or a new purchase. We appreciate things less when we get them on a whim or an impulse. Filling the desire so quickly, without waiting or anticipating, has the new item land with a quiet thud that doesn't match the excitement that made us want it in the first place.

Build Your Capacity

In a world that speeds up at every turn, it's hard not to get pulled into instant gratification, and building the capacity to resist it is a real challenge.

Shifting to intentional living rather than immediate living requires us to slow down and reflect on what we're doing. Here are a few ways I practice that shift myself.

If I'm waiting for a table at a restaurant, I don't bring my phone. Instead, I chat with my dining guests or people-watch. Not having my phone forces me to slow down and engage with my environment.

When I'm shopping, I see all sorts of things I think I can't live without. A week later, if I've delayed the purchase, I usually discover I can live without the item I was so sure I needed. On the flip side, if I still want it after a week, I've cultivated patience, and in doing so, I've enhanced my anticipation and appreciation of the thing I'm buying. I'll also ask myself a few questions borrowed from Marie Kondo to help slow me down: Does it spark joy? Does this item help me live the life I want to live? 

Either way, the wait curbs the impulse while it deepens the appreciation.

The Part I Love

When I intentionally practice patience, in all its small forms, my life feels richer and more rewarding. The part I love most is how it feeds my sense of gratitude, for both people and things. Gratitude has a buoyant effect on my mood, and that's a nice side effect of simply slowing down.

If patience is a skill, gratitude might be its delightful reward.

Ready to Build Yours?

If waiting even a week before your next purchase feels hard to imagine, that's worth exploring, not judging. Executive coaching can help you understand what's driving the pace you're moving at and build a more intentional relationship with the moments in between.

Book a coaching session to start practicing patience as a skill, not just an idea.