Purpose Isn't One Thing. It Never Was.
- David Stamation
- Apr 11
- 2 min read
David Stamation, Executive Life Coach
"I love it when you are in your purpose." Hearing that from my wife felt great.
Here's what was happening. I was getting ready for the season-opening track day organizing the road trip, booking a tech inspection at the shop and swapping brake pads in the garage. In the Pacific Northwest, all the tracks reopen in April after winter break. It's a decades-old passion of mine. And apparently it shows.
Where We Get It Wrong
I've never been comfortable with the question "What is your purpose?" It felt too singular, like I had to compress my whole interesting, complicated life into one tidy statement of intent. I've learned that's exactly why most of us dodge it. It feels like a huge commitment, so we leave it untouched.
A Better Way to Think About Purpose
Look at the actual structure of your life and give each part its own purpose statement. Here are some examples:
Passions and Hobbies. My love of racetracks and the craft of driving. For you it might be golf or something else entirely. This is my passion purpose, and my wife was lit up watching me move through the garage last weekend.
Partner. My calling as a husband is to support my wife's professional life. To help make things happen or protect her time so she can. To create a stable home. My job is to remove barriers so she can fly. It’s clear and simple and helps me live it each day.
Parent. How you show up for your children. The anchor point for the kind of parent you intend to be. This one may challenge your career ambitions. It asks you to place the relationship first and stick to it.
Professional. Mine is helping people through executive life coaching. The giving energizes me. I'm always learning. Yours might be creating something, building something, or leading something.
Spiritual. A daily or weekly practice that supports your beliefs and philosophy of life. All forms count from yoga to attending church services.
Community. All the ways we strengthen bonds from neighborhoods to friendships and organizations. I initiate gatherings in my home. One group of men I know has turned it into something of a ritual, sitting around the fire, showing up, every time.
When I name purpose this way, I feel fulfilled and solid in my place in the world.
Try It — It's Easier Than You Think
Organize it this way. Name the key segments of your life. Explore what a sense of purpose feels like inside each one.
It's a more pleasurable exercise than the impossible single-answer version. Less daunting. More honest. And you probably already know your answers.
Your Options
If you want to explore this further, your own version, across your own life, I'd love to be a thinking partner. That's what I do. Let's connect.
The cartoon is from the Tom Slick children's show from the late 60s.
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