When the Colors Come Back

In loving memory of David Stamation, May 31, 1965 – October 22, 2026 

David passed away peacefully on October 22nd, holding my hand in our master bedroom, after a five-year journey with multiple myeloma. 

His cancer came back at the end of September. After reviewing the treatment options and travel options, David decided to forgo any treatment and to live out the rest of his life on his terms, fully in love and in his power. And he did. 

In this last month, David was the strongest and most clear he has been. He got to say all of his goodbyes and make all of his plans. And we got to spend the last few weeks of his life, just him and I, fully in our love, fully present, and fully together. 

During this time, we have had the most beautiful October. The colors outside our master bedroom are gold, green, yellow, auburn, and orange, and they are just magnificent. David and I were talking about what a beautiful October it is, how bright and vibrant the colors are this time, and how interesting it is that before the leaves die and fall off the trees, that’s when they are the most vibrant, alive, beautiful, and amazing. 

That’s how I saw David this last year. He was so vibrant, so alive, so in his purpose, and so supportive of me. 

In those last two weeks, fully in our love, we got to grieve out loud. It is very profound and healing when you get to grieve the person you’re going to lose with them. They get to hold you and tell you that it’s going to be okay. You get to share all the feelings you have of loss and love. You get to share your gratitude. You get to talk about the future without him there and what that will be like.  

Part of this last year was that we left nothing unexpressed. David had no rules for expression. He wanted it all. He wanted my depth, he wanted my tears, he wanted my anger. He wanted all of me to come out and to share with him. And we got to do that. He was healing. 

One of the last conversations we had as we were grieving together, I asked him, “How am I going to be okay? How am I going to move on?” 

He told me that I’m strong. That I have family, I have friends, I have support, I have my work. And that I will be okay. 

And I said, “Well, when? When will I feel okay? Like really ok?” 

And he told me, “When the colors come back.” 

With so much love, 

Cynthia