Personal: How We Stay Connected Through the Storm

David Stamation, Executive Life Coach

One of the unexpected gifts of this health crisis has been seeing how Cynthia and I communicate—and how we treat each other—when everything feels uncertain. It revealed the bones of our relationship: the strength of our connection, and how much emotional fluency matters when life turns upside down.

There were moments when I didn’t feel like her husband. I felt like a dependent version of myself—a patient, even a child—someone being taken care of. That unsettled me. In my role I’ve always been the one who leads, who carries the weight. Illness stripped that away. I had to face the discomfort of needing her—not just physically, but emotionally.

Yet Cynthia never gave me pity. She gave me presence. She didn’t try to fix or minimize things. She stayed—with clear eyes, strength, and compassion. She allowed me to feel without judgment, which gave me the space to return to myself—not by snapping out of it, but by softening into it.

That is emotional fluency.

Our conversations shifted from logistics to truth-telling. I started naming when I felt scared, ashamed of my fatigue, or afraid I wasn’t showing up as her partner. In doing so, I realized my role hadn’t vanished—it had simply changed. Some days my presence looked like telling her, “Everything will be alright.” Other days, it was reminding her of what I loved about her. Even in weakness, I could still lead with love.

Cynthia, in turn, didn’t take over or treat me like a patient. She respected my process and responded with grace. Solid. Tender. Human.

Through this, we built a relationship rooted in honesty. We don’t avoid hard conversations or sugarcoat reality. But we also don’t lose respect for each other in moments of vulnerability. That’s the heart of it: treating each other with dignity—even on the worst days.

What matters most in a crisis isn’t control—it’s connection. How you speak, listen, and hold one another without rescuing or retreating. For me, these self-help practices gave me hope and are the same ones we teach our clients.