You're Inherently Lazy

David Stamation, Executive Life Coach

(I don’t mean that, but let’s look at what I am saying.)

When we take on a new endeavor, most of us follow a familiar pattern.

We set a structure. We promise to commit. Then we move straight into hard work. Productivity. Performance. Discipline.

We try to brute-force our way to the outcome. We rush directly into doing, and we skip a crucial step. When the effort falters, which it often does, we turn inward with judgment.

I’m lazy.

I’m inconsistent.

I just can’t stick with things.

Before long, the new endeavor is quietly abandoned. This happens most often to high performers. These are the people who are used to succeeding through effort.

The Pattern Most People Miss

Take meditation, something many of us experiment with. We are told it is good for us. That it will calm us, focus us, change our lives.

Many try it. Most fall off. Not because they hate it. In fact, many people report enjoying parts of it.

But when the routine breaks, the verdict appears.

I’m lazy.

The experiments were not wasted. They were data.

The Real Problem Isn’t Discipline

Most people do not fail because they lack discipline. They fail because they apply discipline before they discover desire. We try to force consistency around something we have not yet learned to connect with.

That is backward. Discipline sustains what desire starts.

The Crucial Step

Instead of beating yourself up for dropping meditation, or any new habit, do this. Identify only the parts you like, enjoy, or love. Name them clearly.

What part worked?

What felt good?

What did you look forward to, even briefly?

For me, meditation leaves me with a sense of wholeness and quiet confidence. In the final minutes, I often think of friends and clients. I feel connected. That feeling, fulfillment, is the emotional link that bonds me to the act. So, I use it.

The night before, I name how I want to feel in the morning.

When I wake up, I bypass distraction. No phone. No laptop.

Water.

Espresso.

Cushion.

Not from discipline.  From desire. It is not brute force or negative reinforcement. It is fulfillment pulling me forward.

A More Accurate Reframe

Most of the time, this is not laziness. It is that you skipped the crucial step.

Get clear about what you love, then lead from there.

Real change does not start with effort. It starts with understanding how we work and what we naturally connect with. That is where motivation lives.

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Step I: Treat Every Attempt as Information

Each try is teaching you something. Slow down and extract what you enjoyed. Name it specifically.

What part worked?

What felt good?

What did you look forward to

That is not failure. That is gathering intelligence.

Step II: Name the Emotion

Link what you enjoyed to a clear emotional state.

Calm.

Connection.

Ease.

Fulfillment.

Energy.

Do not leave it vague. Give it a name. When you name the emotion, you create something your nervous system (body-based coaching) can recognize.

Step III: Embody It

Now move out of your head and into your body. Where does that emotion live?

Chest.

Gut.

Shoulders.

What sensations are present?

Warmth.

Openness.

Lightness.

This is the bridge between insight and change. It turns an idea into fuel.

Emotional fluency is the ability to name, feel, and use emotion as fuel instead of friction.

The Real Shift

Most people do not need more discipline. They need a clearer emotional connection to what they are doing. When that connection exists, effort drops and consistency rises. Not because you forced it. Because something inside you is finally pulling you forward.

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What’s Next for Some of You

If you are ready to turn flops into insight and move beyond productivity into sustainable momentum, Executive Life Coaching can help. With two or three sessions a month, you will learn how to:

• identify what genuinely fulfills you

• align your energy with what matters

• create change that lasts without constant force

  
  

No more chasing occasional moments of calm. Imagine cultivating an inner steadiness that becomes part of how you live and lead every day.