What do you do when the tools you've tried to manage overwhelm don't seem to work, and you feel like you're constantly being defeated by it? Despite your efforts to regain control, overwhelm continues to dominate, leaving you feeling powerless to change the situation. In last week's blog, we covered common tools including this quiz used to tackle overwhelm. Tools recap: breaking down tasks, prioritization, time management, setting boundaries, and addressing negative thinking patterns. But what do you do when none of them work?
One Client’s Experience through Coaching
Jackson experimented with various tools to manage overwhelm, yet their effectiveness was limited. Delving deeper, we explored the root causes and discovered that his struggles traced back to childhood experiences that resulted in repeated patterns he couldn’t break as an adult. His childhood strategy was being a People Pleaser, and because of that, he said ‘yes’ all the time, even when he wanted to say ‘no’.
Jackson's tendency to say 'yes' to most requests and his perpetual state of overwhelm led to the beliefs that he wasn't smart enough and not living up to his potential; these came from direct and indirect messages from his parents. A significant aspect of his overwhelmed state stemmed from a relentless desire to prove his intelligence and fulfill his potential by constantly doing more.
For individuals like Jackson who are people pleasers, the core fear revolves around the idea that they'll lose relationships if they don't constantly say 'yes'. Consequently, they continue to agree to tasks beyond their capacity, driven by the fear that refusing will lead to abandonment or rejection. This fear perpetuates a cycle of overwhelm as they struggle to meet unrealistic expectations and prioritize others' needs over their own.
With the clarity gained from understanding the origins of his behavior by using the Legacy Method, Jackson was able to revisit the tools and achieve much better results in reducing overwhelm after he updated his beliefs and childhood strategies that matched the man he is today. This change has had a profound impact on both his personal and professional life.
The Legacy Method
In Executive Life Coaching, we gently explore our clients' past to uncover the connections to their present behaviors and patterns. By establishing an emotional link to their past, we guide them through exercises aimed at unloading the burdens that drive their current behaviors. Then, we encourage them to envision their desired future and begin updating childhood strategies to align with their current values and identity as adults.
This transformative process not only provides tremendous relief but also provides a clear vision forward. This method facilitates lasting change by empowering individuals to make shifts that resonate deeply with who they are and where they want to go. Imagine not falling back into old patterns.
Break Free from Overwhelm: Start Living Fully Today
Have you surrendered, thinking overwhelm is a fixture in your life? It doesn't have to be that way. Your loved ones want to see you thrive, and so do we. Contact me for a consultation where you’ll map out a path and begin optimizing your life where it matters most.