It’s not easy – even uncomfortable at first – to look in the mirror and say, “I love myself.” Our culture teaches us that it is better to give than receive and that we are selfish if we love and take care of ourselves.
Self-love and compassion give us the freedom to fulfill our purpose and not look outside ourselves for approval. It takes courage to express who we are without worrying about what other people will think.
I had a parent who convinced me that it was wrong to believe in myself and to love myself. That hidden belief was a block to my happiness for a long time. It wasn’t until I experienced life coaching that I was able to identify and release it.
If I were to go back in time and give my younger self advice, I would say…
“Question your negative thoughts about yourself – where did they come from?” Ask yourself, “Is it true? What do you want to believe?” I would tell her, “It is ok to believe in yourself.”
Self-love defined is, a) an appreciation of one’s own worth or virtue, b) proper regard for and attention to one’s own happiness or well-being.
For me, self-love means accepting myself just as I am
and believing in my positive qualities. It means not needing to compare myself with others or needing outside validation that I am loveable. I don’t have to pretend to be something that I am not. I don’t have to be perfect. I still have qualities that I would like to change, and I can love those, too.
If we think of self-love as valuing ourselves for the journey that has brought us to where we are now, we can experience self-respect, self-esteem, and self-compassion. It is not necessary to judge our past – those behaviors or choices that we labeled as mistakes. Those were opportunities to course correct; opportunities to explore our boundaries by learning what we will and won’t accept about ourselves – stimuli for personal growth.
Sometimes, it takes a real shaking-up of our world to prompt us in a new direction – like a divorce, loss of a job, physical challenge, etc. If we allow self-compassion to work its wonder, then our painful experiences make us stronger, and smarter and provide clarity to create the life we want.
Self-compassion has given me the ability to appreciate all the lessons learned from my past. Self-respect has given me the ability to acknowledge my skills, talents, education, and experiences that serve me today and make up the foundation of a life I love. Self-love gives me the ability to feel healthy love for myself, other people, animals, nature, and the universe. It gives me the ability to recognize my connection to something greater than human existence, that beautiful knowing that we are eternal expressions of pure love.
Do I believe in myself now? You bet!
Give yourself the gift of self-love, self-compassion, kindness, and acceptance. Not sure how to do that, or does the prospect seem too big? Contact us at Legacy Life Consulting to learn about our coaching and online programs.